Drama Queens versus the Status Quo

I realized leading up to my wedding 2 years ago that I have grown up dreading being the center of attention. Throughout my engagement, I held a heavy fear of the wedding weekend because I was nervous about all the attention. I did not feel comfortable giving a speech (the night of the rehearsal dinner) nor tossing the garter. I’d lived my life until then blending in. I wouldn’t say I am a conformist, but definitely someone who avoids confrontation.

Is it possible to be successful with such tendencies? I say no. Well, not unless you’re a rare exception, one who has a mentor that teaches you all the tricks so that you’re never facing an unknown challenge.

The more stories I hear or books I read, the more I realize that folks get ahead in life and business by being consistently more effective than others. What is the best way to be consistently better? By looking for shortcuts, seizing opportunities, and doing the important things that others hate to do.

Apparently, the normal person is like I was. He or she shrinks away from conflict, hides from uncomfortable situations, and refuses to communicate the whole truth. Exceptional people have bucked the trend of fitting in. They challenge assumptions and find that there are often easier ways to accomplish great things.

A number of authors that I’ve recently read use this as their primary thesis. As Timothy Ferriss says in The 4 Hour Workweek, “What we fear doing most is usually what we MOST NEED TO DO!”

• Tucker Max – I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell
• Tim Ferriss – The 4 Hour Work Week
• David H. Sandler – You Can’t Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar
• Jim F. Kukral – Attention! This Book Will Make You Money

The advice from these books is completely logical, so why are Computer Programmers so conflicted when trying to apply it?

Most computer programmers chose the profession because it does not require interaction with other people, allowing them to continue to avoid difficult social situations. On the other hand, most programmers are skilled at seeing shortcut solutions to problems, optimizing processes, and reducing unnecessary tasks. They just won’t do anything that could be potentially embarrassing.

Photo by aka Kath

I think back to my childhood, when I socialized with some children like me and some who were drama queens, those who captured all the attention by whining that nothing ever went their way. Did the drama queens grow up with an advantage? They are used to asking people for things, do not take no for an answer, and shine with the spotlight. I contend that as long as a drama queen is not completely unlikeable, it is a great way to grow up with an advantage in our culture.

To those programmers who fit into the above personality, I say to become dissatisfied with the status quo. Learn to do things differently and opportunities will present themselves. Then seize them.

Carpe Diem